


"Yeah, We Tried That Already"

by write_light



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M, Sex Talk, Trouble In Paradise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-12 23:32:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3359381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/write_light/pseuds/write_light
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things just aren't, you know, ON FIRE in the sack. And so, naturally, Stiles needs to tell everyone. He's not alone in that opinion, though. A most dangerous game unfolds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Yeah, We Tried That Already"

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my, I just… I apologize. Cracky banter-y boys and unhelpful friends, Creeper!Peter and slam-you-against-the-window sex and not everything is happily ever after and that's okay. A sequel of sorts to "[Mastermind of Love](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1205983)." 
> 
> Warning for a brief implication of Peter/Sterek

“Like vanilla ice cream?”

“No, not like- what? What’s wrong with vanilla?” Stiles demanded.

“It's bland. You said bland,” Scott replied, concentrating on his arm tattoo to distract himself.

“I happen to think that vanilla ice cream is – good with whatever you top it with. It’s versatile.”

“Because it’s bland, dude.”

“We’re not talking about ice cream, Scott.”

“I _know_ ,” Scott winced, wishing the conversation would end five minutes ago.

Stiles left in the middle of a dramatic eyeroll.

***

“Bland? Like your wardrobe?”

“I got this shirt from Scott!”

“Along with your sense of fashion. At least he has the jawline for that jacket," Lydia sighed.

“Look-“ Stiles whispered as loudly as he dared, pausing to watch the teacher mark a small red dot next to his name on the roster. “What do I do?”

“How should I know how to fix your sex-” She paused to straighten her shoulders but it might have been a tasteful shudder. “-your romantic life?"

“You dated a werewolf!”

“And I don’t run a blog about it! Be your own anchor, isn’t that what Scott keeps saying?”

“He was no help either.”

***

Stiles was pacing Derek's loft. _Their_ loft. It had been almost three months since he and Derek had started dating, if you could call it that.

“Three months of awkward dinners, awful movies, and jaw-droppingly boring sex,” he said out loud in the empty loft. “Not that sex itself is boring, _per se_.”

“If you have to say ' _per se_ ,' then it is,” came the slick voice of the last person Stiles wanted eavesdropping.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Stiles said, whipping around, his face flaming hot. “Besides being creepy as fuck.”

“Waiting for Derek,” Peter said innocently. “Enjoying your little teen freak-out,” he added. “ _ **I**_ could have told you the sex would be boring,” he said with terrifying glee.

“Please don’t even-“

“As you wish. Tell him I was here. And maybe you could stop by Badcock's Pleasure Barn and see what they have on sale."

Stiles shivered at the hiss of "sssssale", wishing he had time for a quick shower now.

***

Derek, happy to see Stiles already there, embraced him in a tight hug, his usual greeting. The kiss was a little less amorous but still took Stiles’ breath away for a moment.

When he’d recovered, Derek was in the kitchen, arranging the takeout onto his limited dinnerware.

“Der-“ Stiles started to say and Derek looked up, nervous.

“You need to talk,” he guessed instantly.

“Werewolf senses are on tonight.”

“What is it? I’m listening. Food can wait.” His eyes were wide and loving.

“We should try some different- … I think our-" Stiles stalled as the word "bland" popped into his head. _How the hell do I say this?_ "Maybe a little more excitement in the-" he got out before his throat dried up.

“I know what you’re trying to say," Derek said. "I’ve been meaning to talk to you about it, so it's great you’ve admitted you’re willing to change.”

“Um, huh? No, no I’m fine, Mr. Wolf. You’re the one who’s bland vanilla ice cream fashion."

Derek’s eyebrows rose slowly, a terrifying crescendo of what-the-fuck-did-you-just-say?

“You’re the one who could get hurt, Stiles.”

“Yeah, well I’m willing to take that chance.”

“So you want it a little rougher.”

“Yeah.”

“So you want me to throw you up against the window and shove it in.”

“Hell yeah!”

“So you want me to let the wolf drag his teeth over your neck till you bleed."

"Fuck-" he almost backed down but wouldn't let Derek win "-fuck yeah I want that."

"You want me to be all over you and have Peter ‘accidentally’ catch us in the middle of it and ask to join?"

“Yeah I do!! No NO NO!!! NO, I don't -what is wrong with you? - and your whole family?”

“Just seeing how spicy you want to get," Derek said, biting his lip hard.

There was a very long and very silent silence in the loft.

“You’d go that far?” Stiles had to ask, his voice hoarse and cracking.

“For you –“ Derek admitted, nodding solemnly.

Stiles’ eyes widened, exactly like the cornered rabbit he was picturing.

“Yeah I still got it,” Derek said, chuckling softly and licking his finger to mark an imaginary "1" on the chalkboard.

Stiles swallowed loudly, moving between embarrassed and wildly turned on.

“How about you tell me what you want and we’ll combine that with what I want?" Derek suggested. "You don’t have school tomorrow do you? Might be hard to walk afterwards.”

Stiles was laser-focused now, tackling Derek amid the empty takeout cartons of a forgotten meal.

***

END


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